It was one of those cosmically aligned moments that I met a person I’d never realized would left such a footprints into my life. The connection was instant and undeniable. And for the next days my heart went through every possible emotion. The most prominent, that of finding the one person you’ve spent your whole life waiting for, the one that is the perfect match to you in every way, but knowing from the start that it would never last. It was that tragic, heartbreaking, can’t-do-shit-about-it, life’s-a-bitch, kinda love that rips your heart out. Yet when you fall in love, you have no control over it, ’ cause it’s right what Christina Perri says that love is the ghost you can’t control and even if you know its chances for survival are minimal at best. It just is what it is. I thought it was something writers and fairytale’s invented to keep us wishing for some magic that probably never existed. But from our eye’s contacts, it was there, as crazy as it sounds. If you’ve ever found this kind of love, then you know it doesn’t sound crazy at all. There was no denying it, on both sides. And from that moment on as we spent time getting to know each other, knowing that our timing and lives would not mesh, I asked God and the Universe or whatever else was listening… Why? Why do this to me? Why put me through something so pointlessly painful. Why bring him into my life in such a fates-collide kind of way, only to not let him stay? I don’t know the answer to that question. I wish I did. I wish it would reveal itself to me. Because No matter what I’ve done to try to throw all the thoughts and visions away, I always failed. I’m now about to fight a battle on people’s hatred for this separation. They say it’s all my fault. Well, I don’t regret what they say, but to be honest I feel so lonely. I need someone to listen, but they just won’t. It’s like this is all my fault. Perhaps so, but they don’t know my reasons. They don’t know how long I’ve been trying to fight myself, all my visions and all my thoughts to carry this relationship on. You may think I’m a bitch to say that I do this for his own good. That’s just so bullshit, but that bullshit is also so true. I opened all of my social media accounts this morning. I felt so surprised to see that he’s deleted all of shits about me from his. He probably hate me so much now that it’s so easy for him to do that, but then I told myself ”what’s so wrong with that? You did it first, bitch! It’s all your fault. Stop fucking crying your heart.” Well, he was a pride of mine. He was a blessing. He’s a good person and I know he’ll just find someone who’ll give the world to him like he’s ever been my world once. Hope you’re good, and happy. I want that for you. Regards.
A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done. But what’s yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it’ll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won’t have to put it back in the sky again.
Once there was a free bird. She floated in the sky, catching midges for lunch, swam in the summer rain trickles, and was like many other birds.
But she had a habit: every time some event occurred in her life, whether good or bad, the bird picked up a stone from the ground to memory. Every day she sorted out her stones, laughed remembering joyful events, and cried remembering the sad ones.
A bird always took the stones with her, whether she was flying in the sky or walking on the earth, she never forgot about them. The years have passed, and free bird got a lot of stones, but she still kept on sorting them, remembering the past. It was becoming more and more difficult to fly, and one day a bird was unable to do this.
The bird that was free some time ago, could not walk on the earth, she was unable to make a move by her own. She could not catch midges anymore; only rare rain gave her the necessary moisture. But a bird bravely endured all the hardships, guarding her precious memories.
After some time a bird died of the starvation and thirst. And only a pitiful bunch of worthless stones reminded of her for a long time.